Are you currently having sex with any guys?
"As a matter of fact, I think I've found the most dreamy mate ever. My mum enrolled me in piano lessons, and the instructor caught my fancy from the start. He's quite striking. Funny how my mum made me take up piano to get me away from randy school boys, and set me up with a real dandy, innit? About my third lesson, we were sitting on the bench and his hand--he has the most beautiful hands--grazed my upper thigh. I almost fainted at the mere touch. He ran it up my skirt and gently played on top of my knickers, on my cunt. Then he said, 'Dear Poppy, how would you like a man inside of you?' I said 'maybe' and he played underneath my knickers."

We love when we get hot British teens, Poppy. Are you a randy gal?
"Extremely. But I don't give my prized teen meats to any chum who comes along. I have strict standards, like a young lady should. I'm not fond of boys who spend all their time watching the telly or, even worse, sitting their arses down at the local pub and getting right shitfaced. I have an older sibling like that, always watching football and being a right hooligan. All his friends are pathetic and smelly wankers. It's gross! I want a man or a boy who can warm me up and knows how to romance a girl, but pleases her physical needs to boot. "