18eighteen March 2008

Who's your Valentine this year, Nautica?
"Well, it's pretty bananas 'cause I don't just have one, I have lots! This year, I blogged about the fact that I was single on Myspace and I got so many offers for dates that I had to make my V-day a two-day event! I have, like, eight dates. I'm really stoked and I bought new panties for each date...'cause you never know, ya know? I said yes to everyone who asked just in case one of them is "the" one. I'm looking for something serious this year. Before it was cool to mess around with guys and it didn't matter, but now, it's different. I want a steady guy to teach me all about the freaky stuff. Blowies and sex and all that good stuff!"

Are you saying you don't know how to give a blow job or know anything about sex? No way.
"Duh! Of course I've done those things before, but I'm not an expert, yet. I want to be a pro! All these girls are always talking about how they know all about sex and stuff, but I know it's bullshit. So, I'm gonna learn as much as I can, so when people talk about sex, it's gonna be the guys telling those girls that I'm the best around!"